Matt:
Everything is fucked up
But you can just get fucked
So everything that's fucked up can just go die die die
Find someone to fuck
Make sure you don't get fucked
Because those fucks can fuck you up and then you'll cry cry cry

Rook:
When you grow up you earn a lot about living
And while it's true that the universe is unforgiving
Table your misgivings, let your wonderment blossom
Cuz the truth is being a grown up is totally fucking awesome

We play possum with the facts, but it's agreed
That you can have whatever you want, satisfaction guaranteed
And while you don't like it now you'll spend a lot of time thinking
About girls or boys instead of toys and massive quantities of drinking

Billy:
Listen up kids, call me Mr. The Fridge
I'm your substitute teacher and it is what it is
We all grow up, can't be a kid forever
Even Peter Pan said good bye to Never-never Land

Damn, think I could borrow sixty bucks?
I know a girl who let's me tink her if I bring her pixie dust (Ew!)
Kiddies trust if you think you like Caprisun
Wait until they sell you umbrella drinks with peach rum

Klop:
Go be a beach bum or hitchhike to Vegas
And never take shit from anyone who thinks they're the greatest
Cuz to a certain extent, everyone's an imposter
We all let others drown to keep our heads above water

Everything dies and shit won't grow back
Things you love will make you cry, you should so know that
But don't hold back. Check your sources,
Know the facts. You can't change a god damned thing so, you know, relax

Matt:
Everything is fucked up
But you can just get fucked
So everything that's fucked up can just go die die die
Find someone to fuck
Make sure you don't get fucked
Because those fucks can fuck you up and then you'll cry cry cry

Klop:
Yeah alright, everything sucks, but it's kinda okay
Because you make your own luck at the end of the day
But remember, everything that feels good has a price
Still everything worth doing's worth doing at least twice

And that means vice. Don't miss what the world has to offer
Pay well for your drugs and match your liquor with water
Figured I ought to give your something that's useful
Cuz whatever people tell you almost none of it's truthful

Billy:
Life's fucked, you little bastards'll see
They'll charge you out the ass for a master's degree
After the fees and the books and major expenses
You'll shoot porn in your dorm just to pay for your pencils

"What're pencils?" Fuck you kids and your tablets
Screen-fingering addicts developing habit
So have at it, grow old, be an adult
Where you can get drunk before you do what you're told

Rook:
Use your best judgement...oh fuck it, go crazy!
Be a hedonist or selfish prick or totally lazy
Guzzle soda, crunch candy, and fondle your junk,
Learn about shit on the internet, or just fake the funk

Because lying is easy and we do it on the daily
To win friends and cash and fuck the cute chick with the ukulele
Pick your nose, watch too much TV, play every video game
Adulthood is the tits and childhood is fucking lame

Matt:
Everything is fucked up
But you can just get fucked
So everything that's fucked up can just go die die die
Find someone to fuck
Make sure you don't get fucked
Because those fucks can fuck you up and then you'll cry cry cry

Everything is fucked up
But you can just get fucked
So everything that's fucked up can just go die die die
Find someone to fuck
Make sure you don't get fucked
Because those fucks can fuck you up and then you'll cry cry cry